I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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