idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Randomize
