bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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