So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
