You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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