it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
