If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
