things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
