and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
