Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
being pregnant is like rehab
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
