don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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