eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
farters have to be the big spoon...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
