Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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