His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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