It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
