The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Found your dick twin last night
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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