she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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