In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do vagina's smell?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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