Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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