I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
