I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
