You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
