9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I am available for nakedness
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
