You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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