Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
where are you?
Hypothermia
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
