Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
