Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
