Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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