On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
