She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
