Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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