I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
