just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
