She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
