1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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