so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
