he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
