I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
