But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
