You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
