tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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