she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
