His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
