I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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