am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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