My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
