My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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