Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Two words: blizzard sex
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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