Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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