Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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